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From client to something more. How to politely refuse a date!

0 comments 01 Aug 2017

You are finding yourself in the awkward situation when a client, or maybe a regular wants something more from you and he asks you out on an actual date? You want to refuse him in a polite manner, without hurting his feelings or even turning him mad or making him frustrated? Here are some pointers on how to politely refuse a date, if you are not interested in crossing the client-escort boundaries!


Keep in mind that rejection is not easy to handle, especially if it took that person a lot of time and courage to finally ask you out, or if we are talking about a vain person, that is taking rejections personally. The tips we offer are helping you not to be caught off guard and say something inappropriate and hurt someone’s feelings.

1.     Always be honest

Turning someone down can be pretty awkward and hard to do, especially when the person you are turning down is quite agreeable or is an old regular, that’s why being honest is always the best strategy.

If your policy is to keep your professional life completely separated from your personal life, no matter how charming, fun or extremely romantic your date could be, stick to it and do not make exceptions from that rule.

Do not agree to date someone out of pity or under the impulse of the moment, cause the dating request was nice or romantic, instead be true to your beliefs and honest to your client.

Do not make up stories or invent a boyfriend/girlfriend if there is none, instead keep it honest, thank him for his proposal and then politely decline the invitation, telling him that you have a “no dating your clients” policy or that you simply do not feel like dating at the moment.

2.     Do not over-explain yourself

You do not own your client any explanations regarding your decision to decline his invitation, so don’t lose yourself in endless explanations, apologies or small lies, just to justify your decision and to make him feel less rejected.

Keep it short and straight forward, because this way your rejection will be better accepted and there will be no room left for you to change your mind or for things to change in the future.

3.     Do not avoid giving an answer

Being direct and not avoiding an answer is the best attitude to have in these circumstances. This way you are taking the matters into your own hands, you have the possibility of speaking your mind clearly, you do not avoid a confrontation and you do not let him take the hint and read a negative answer in your silence, because when it comes to silence, we tend to read it in the way that best suits us and not the reality.

4.     Be tactful

Always treat the person that asked you out with the same respect and understanding you want to be treated in a similar situation. So, handle things with a lot of tact, do not show any kind of disgust towards your clients request and do not get offended by the proposal – because everyone has the right to express their desire and to act according to it, in this case, to invite you out for a real date.

5.     Keep the reasoning about you

If you feel that the client asking you out deserves more than just a polite refusal, then you can go on and give him some explanations, as long as you keep it about yourself! Do not tell him why he’s not good for you, because that can be hurtful and can raise some feelings of anger, shame and embarrassment in the one asking the question. Instead, use “I” statements, to explain your decision: you are not ready for something more; you see things differently, you don’t feel a connection; you are not looking to date and so on.

6.     Make it clear that that’s your final decision

Do not leave room for interpretation! Make him understand that your refusal is final and pinpoint that decision by not falling for his “puppy eyes” trick and suggesting him that there is a chance for the two of you in the future, or that you could be friends or that you should know each other first.

All this things that you are telling him because this way you think you are being nice, are just giving him hope for a future positive answer from your behalf and that means that he won’t stop hoping and asking you for something more! Make sure that the door is fully closed, so that he may not have any more ideas in the future.

7.     Stay away from social media friendships

If it’s not an official page where you promote your business, then there is no need in befriending a client on your personal, social media accounts. If you do accept his friendship you will leave room for more and you will send him the wrong message! Do not confuse him by sending mixed messages – if you refused his invitation, there is no need to stay in touch on your personal means of communication, like social media, text messages, skype or so on. With clients, it is allowed only the communication on your business email address, phone number and social media accounts.

8.     Stop any communication if he turns abusive

If, after a rejection, your client turns verbally or physically abusive towards you, then this is a certain message that you have to stop any kind of interaction with that person. Do not accept his future bookings and let him know that you will do that because of his inappropriate behaviour!

 

Follow the suggestions above and you’ll be prepared to give a polite “no”, next time a client wants to cross the escort-client boundary and asks you out for a date. 

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